Following our normal day to day routine which could be to 9 to 5 for the workers and 8 to probably 6 for students like us. Aft‎er the days activities we go home,  then observe our regular rituals just before we go to bed, which is our"Late Night Thoughts" pondering over several activities of the day and  we also plan for the future. I will tell you how mine went. After spending sometime in school, I headed into town to take care of some issues. I stopped over at a shop to purchase that drink that is making the youths of 21st century go crazy "ORIJIN". I came back home,  I removed my shirt,  my t-shirt,  my Aba made sandal,  next stop was food. I ate then took my bath afterwards . Then I had to pay Facebook a visit. After all this I realised it was time for my time out.

As the time for my late night thoughts approached,  I brought out my immaculate white head phones,  plugged it into my phone,  next stop was my music player... All this was to get me ready for my "late night thoughts". I played tracks from Kendrick Lamar's ,to pimp a butterfly, gradually moving to other tracks what would actually facilitate the mood I really crave for at that point in time.

Sitting down on my special chair,  I reminisced on the days activities. I remembered  my conversations with people,  my mind focused on one statement I made during my conversation with a friend. During the course of our discussion I told her "I am way more complicated that I don't understand myself and I don't even know why I end up liking those who are way more complicated than I am". that was after she asked if I have finally gotten a new catch or still liking the present girl. Thoughts of that statement took me a couple of days back, precisely about 1185 days back....

Earlier this semester, I got a new friend along the line and I liked her as usual. I became curious,  I started trying to find out stuffs about her with my crude knowledge of psychology and sociology Ihave been learning from my summer bestie I started my quest,  After stalking her on Facebook I discovered she likes writing and most of her write up describes a complicated individual even though we writers tend to paint most real stories as fiction and that also depicts a secretive individual,  You know stalking girls on Facebook gives you the opportunity of finding out your rivals if you are in that love game quest. After careful analysis of all my findings I was able to conclude she is way more complicated than I am.

But I still wanted to express my feelings. I wanted to tell her the way I feel cos they say life is too short to hold back those type of things,  but my several fears keep holding me back. The fear of that dreaded answer NO,  which may be accompanied by a statement such as "I am disappointed in you" which comes when you have been probably Brotherzoned orJegazoned (A new word that came into existence after the presidential elections),  The fear of being used as a Subject matter in ladies late night jist which is actually inevitable.

There is an irony about writing which most people haven't figured out yet "No matter how hard we may paint a write up to look like fiction, on close examination there is an atom of feeling which actually inspired that post.‎

This is my complicated life and I am on a quest to change it.

Do you ever get this way?‎