Oscars 2014 red carpet fashion EXPLAINED!!!!!

Monday, March 03, 2014

Miuccia Prada is cracking open the prosecco right about now. Because Lupita Nyong’o, the nominee everyone wanted to dress, is wearing Prada. Why don’t more people wear baby blue? It looks amazing against the red carpet: soft and dreamy compared to all the lead-lined corset gowns. But, can I be picky? Lupita has been building a rep for bold fashion choices and this is a bit safe. Also, the headband looks like the kind that crazy parents put on baby girls who have no hair.JCM

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

• Lupita Nyong’o: 2014’s queen of the red carpet

Lupita Nyong'o's jewellery — The gown is grand, but Lupita Nyong'o's jewellery adds a personal touch: the tiny gold ring is a frog, which is her family's lucky totem; the pearl rings echo the champagne bubbles that cluster around the hem of the frock. And she piled on the rings and arm candy, but kept the neckline of the dress bauble-free: very modern. JCM

Photograph: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images

Amy Adams — This is Amy Adams in a navy-blue dress from Gucci. It’s perfectly nice, but it’s not exciting. Good ingredients, but no sizzle. Next! IF

Photograph: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images

Steve McQueen — Woah. For a minute there we got all excited about the arrival of an actual man clutch on the red carpet. Alas it’s a fancy ticket. Steve McQueen looks lovely though. If only (and it’s a small quibble) his bowtie was just that touch bigger. IF

Photograph: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images

Pharrell Williams and Helen Lasichanh — Pharrell Williams is here with his wife Helen Lasichanh. Best thing about this tux-shorts number from Pharrell? The fact that you can so tell he has moisturised his legs. Look – shiny calves! Also loving the studied awkwardness of the pair of them together with their mix-and-match tux actions. Good work. IF

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Julie Delpy — You sort of have to be French to pull off this Jenny Packham gown. As my colleague Imogen points out, on a norm, this would like like something from Warehouse circa 2005. But Julie Delpy looks foxy. Also, love the double hands-on-hips pose, which is unexpectedly Kardashian. JCM

Photograph: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Sally Hawkins — Sally Hawkins is wearing a pearly crusader look by Valentino. No need to look all apologetic about that Sal. IF

Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Liza Minnelli — Um, wow. Liza Minnelli has arrived, dressed for a Smurfs’ pyjama party. I can’t work out which is more awesome: the blue streak in the hair, or that she hasn’t bothered to change out of the flat shoes she wore for the journey. JCM

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Jennifer Lawrence — Jennifer Lawrence at the Oscars: wears Dior, falls over. It’s her thing. Dior pays her a lot of money. Not sure what the falling over is about. Anyway, I have been hoping she would wear this shape, the straight-lined column, because (a) it’s a bit more fashion and less Hollywood and (b) the princess gown was cute but with the short hair this feels more grownup and modern. Seriously, if she could only learn to walk she’d have the red carpet nailed. JCM

Photograph: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images

Jennifer Lawrence — This is a case of the Emperor's new jewels, because I'm sorry Jennifer Lawrence, but that is NOT a new way to wear a necklace. That's just silly. If the line of a necklace classes with the neckline of a dress, don't half sling it down your back – take it off. IF

Photograph: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty ImagesPhotograph: Robyn

Glenn Close — I am a bit obsessed with Glenn Close. I saw her IRL at a fashion party once and OMG her skin was luminous, literally LUMINOUS, and she’s a mean dancer. Also, she wears dresses with sleeves, or matching jackets (I think this is a bolero?) on the red carpet, which is excellent. Not sure who this is by, but in 2012 she wore a dress and matching tux by Zac Posen. JCM

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Kerry Washington — It’s Kerry Washington and she’s gorgeous. So why did she slip on the hotel bedsheets and why didn’t she get someone to steam this Jason Wu dress for her? Could she literally not get the staff?IF

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Cate Blanchett — Cate Blanchett is in a different fashion league from your average starlet. She has this sexy-froideur thing going on. This Armani dress seems to be made of capiz shells, so I am a bit worried about whether she can sit down. But that’s the sort of thing us pedestrian, non-Blanchett specimens worry about. JCM

Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Charlize Theron — Can we talk about those invisi-straps Charlize Theron? Because eve though they’re Dior, they’re just a bit weird and “underwear solution” ish aren’t they? IF
Photograph: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images

Viola Davis — It’s a green silk Escada dress but Viola Davis is wearing it like a red-carpet riot shield. It’s a stance that says: “Yep, I’m ready.” IF

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Anne Hathaway — Fierce. Well it would be if it weren’t on Anne Hathaway. This is Mirrorball Chic. Whoever designed this dress and I promise to find out in a bit, was in a nightclub, looked up and thought: “Eureka! Black dress, exploded mirrorball breastplate, that’s it.” IF

Update: it’s Gucci

Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Naomi Watts — We’re calling this look (modelled by Naomi Watts) Done Down on the fashion desk. We like it a lot – red-carpet flat hair. Oddly, it works. Love the red lips and the black shoes with the cloudy Calvin Klein dress, but that necklace is far too similar to one Liz McDonald was wearing on Coronation Street on Friday. IF

Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Julia Roberts — Paging a seamstress! This Givenchy dress is not fitting the divine Julia Roberts, at all. Should be tighter at the waist above the peplum section and pulled up a bit on the shoulders. Someone help her out with a bulldog clip. IF
Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Emma Watson — Hermione who? That’s the message, loud and clear, from Emma Watson in Vera Wang. The T-shirt shape is cool, not prim, the gunmetal shade is a bit rock’n’roll. And if we’re not mistaken she’s flying the flag for British fashion with an Anya Hindmarch crisp-packet clutch. Full marks. JCM
Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Meryl Streepp — Meryl Streep gives a red-carpet masterclass. See it’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it. Meryl is wearing a monochrome Lanvin gown as if it’s a sweatshirt and jeans. It’s wardrobe confidence verging on cockiness. IF

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Sandra Bullock — Dark nails might be a Thing. Sandra Bullock has done it, so did Charlize Theron, Emma Watson and Kerry Washington. It works for us. And BTW Bullock looks excellent in McQueen. Navy blue but in a warm way. Nice balance too between the side hair on the left and the pleated detail on the right. IF

Photograph: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Penélope Cruz — Penélope Cruz can do no wrong. The palest of pale pink chiffon with a grosgrain ribbon belt. Sounds sugary and bleurgh right? But somehow PC has made it look modern and effortless in this Giambattista Valli gown. We stand in awe. IF

Photograph: Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Jared Leto — The red bowtie dude. That’s what the waiters will call Jared Leto. That’s actual fashion fact people.IF

Photograph: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images

Chiwetel Ejiofor — The big news here is that Chiwetel Ejiofor has had a shave. Pity, because the unshaven look was chiming nicely with his awards season wardrobe. We love the double-breasted suit and love the pragmatism of what look to be lifts in his shiny shoes. IF

Photograph: Lester Cohen/WireImage

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie — Angelina Jolie’s dress is by Elie Saab, who also designed what all right-thinking people agree to be her best-ever Oscar dress, the Madame X number she wore in 2009. That was plunging and bare; this is classic to the point of being a teensy bit ageing. The neckline and the sea-urchin-ish beading around the neck are beautiful but then it goes a bit sort of glam beach cover-up. A disappointment after the kick-ass Saint Laurent tux she wore to the Baftas. JCM

Photograph: Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Lady Gaga — Lady Gaga’s here and she’s ALL about a bit of trompe l’oeil tonight. The pattern is basically giving her the figure of Jessica Rabbit and the lilac chiffon neck scarf is going to give her all sorts of problems at the bar later. IF

Photograph: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Ellen DeGeneres — Custom Saint Laurent. Ellen DeGeneres is a lucky, lucky woman. Because as host, the last thing you want to be worrying about is how you look, and with a Saint Laurent tux that’s not going to be an issue. Small quibble, that white bow bit is a little too clerical. IF

Photograph: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Margot Robbie — Thank you Margot Robbie. Here's the firm proof that it is rather fabulous when a dress (this is by Saint Laurent) works as hard from the back as it does from the front. Also, the brunette hair – we approve. IF

Photograph: Stewart Cook/REX

June Squibb — June Squibb’s outfit was custom-made for her by Tadashi Shoji, and it fits just perfectly. The contrast piping gives shape and definition, and the colour sets off her snowy hair. Emerald is an old-school jewel that radiates poise and presence, just like this lady. Gorgeous. JCM

Photograph: Startraks Photo/REX

Matthew McConaughey — Do we like the clotted-cream jacket on Matthew McConaughey? On balance, yes we do. I’m calling this the contingency look because he can whip off the jacket at any point and still have a posh look on with that black waistcoat. See, he’s thought of stuff. IF

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Kate Hudson — Kate Hudson has come as Gwyneth Paltrow in 2012. Remember, when Gwynnie wore the Tom Ford white dress with the matching cape? Kate does, in this Atelier Versace dress. Also, the pose is weird, it looks as if her left leg is trying to escape. JCM

Photograph: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Barkhad Abdi — Really wish Barkhad Abdi had have worn a bowtie and not a shiny disco tie. A badly knotted disco tie to boot. But we like his skinny lapels and he’s a new dude on the red carpet so let’s allow him a bit of leeway while he settles in, eh? IFGuardian

Photograph: Frederic J Brown/AFP/Getty Images

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